


family // post avengers-infinity war

by stxvetony



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Ashes Scene in Avengers: Infinity War Part 1, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I hate myself, Like VERY out of character, Out of Character, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Dies, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 20:19:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16025270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stxvetony/pseuds/stxvetony
Summary: where peter parker's death destroys tony stark after infinity war and leaves him broken beyond repair→tony-centric





	1. 1 | ashes

**Author's Note:**

> \- this is also posted on wattpad - love you guys! I'm sorry for the terrible writing and for writing depressing crap lol please leave your comment, feedback and kudos because they make my day :)
> 
> • note a few months later •
> 
>  
> 
> so!!! this is actually complete garbage i'm sorry skdjs it was basically my first fic which i literally wrote when i only watched infinity war and spiderman homecoming lmao so you can imagine how utterly trash the characterization of everyone is?? and like pepper should have affected tony more!!!!
> 
> ANYWAYS
> 
>  
> 
> this is terrible so don't judge me so harshly skdjs i love and appreciate all of you :)

The sky was cloudy, and the tangy smell of blood hung in the air.

And despite the smell of hopelessness that Peter was beginning to familiarize himself with, he thought the sky was beautiful.

And then there was the pain. Pure, unrelenting pain that spread throughout his body and he stumbled forward crying out. 

It was like fire, beginning at his chest before spreading around his body, increasing in heat like a crescendo in one of his favorite songs.

"I don't feel so good."

But he doesn't feel much. He feels the dust around him, he sees the pain in Mr. Stark's eyes, but he doesn't feel much.

The pain is unbearable. But Peter was only duly aware, focusing on his mentor instead.

He failed one of the only people who never abandoned him.

"I don't want to go."

And he doesn't. He has so much to live for. 

The knife stuck in his heart twists slowly.

He has yet to make Mr. Stark proud. He has yet to experience life. To go to college. To meet and become friends with other avengers. He has yet to fall in love.

And he has to go knowing that he disappointed Mr. Stark.

He has to go knowing that despite everything, he hadn't made one of the most important people in his life proud of him.

And he feels Mr. Stark's hands clutching him, seemingly in desperation to hold onto Peter. To hold on to something that was already gone.

And as Peter falls on to the ground, he finally sees his mentor clearly. 

And as their eyes meet, Peter is glad that Tony Stark would be the last person he would ever see. 

Peter never got to prove himself to the world. Never got to prove himself to the most important people in his life.

And as he fades away he finally feels at peace.

"I'm sorry."

Was I finally good enough, Mr. Stark?


	2. 2 | memories

Tony still remembered meeting Peter for the first time back when he was trying to recruit the kid for fighting against Steve in Germany.

He never would have guessed that the kid barely in high school, would have made such an impact on his life.

Tony never would have guessed that the kid who denied his request to go to Germany because he had homework, would be the person that now haunts Tony ever single day.

He never would have guessed that the kid who defied every single one of his rules, yet still managed to come out on top, would be the person that Tony now cries over a months later after Thanos has been defeated.

Tony never would have guessed that the 15 year old kid who denied entrance into the freaking avengers, would be the kid that would better and accomplish more in his short lifespan than Tony has ever.

But Tony is here now wondering where it all went wrong. Tony is here now wondering why Peter Parker would be the one who has now ceased from existence, when the kid was so much better than Tony in every single aspect of life.

Because Peter was better than Tony. Peter had so much to live for.

And he was gone. 

Tony sits here, realizing that he never got to tell the kid just how damn proud he is.

Tony is so proud of the kid who shoved himself into his life, and literally changed Tony into this parental figure.

Tony is so proud of the kid from Queens who was by far more courageous and determined than Tony was.

He's so damn proud of his innocent kid, who he has began to think of as a son.

The kid who was a better person than all of the avengers, and had so much to live for.

Tony's heart is already shattered to pieces, because everyone is gone.

Everyone, including Pepper.

But most importantly, Peter is gone. And Tony is left all alone again, left to drown in his sorrows through working day and night without sleep or much food.

And while broken remnants of what was the avengers attempt to console Tony, they are all grieving by themselves.

Peter, the light of Tony's life has disappeared. And Tony's heart is dust, much like Peter is.

Tony never realized just how much he needed Peter. Tony needed Peter more than Peter ever needed him, because Peter kept Tony human. Peter kept Tony grounded and smiling in the world.

And without Peter, Tony, the broken billionaire, feels himself become farther and farther away from living, and closer and closer to giving up.

Tony still needs him. And although Tony was never very good at expressing his emotions, he lets himself cry.

Because Peter deserves the world and Tony deserves nothing. And instead, Peter is gone and here Tony sits, the world at his fingertips. The world which he can never bring himself to using again.

His son, died never knowing that Tony loved him more than anything else. His son died thinking that he might have never been good enough. 

In reality, Peter was all he ever needed.


	3. 3 | falling

Peter Parker's death pushed Tony off the cliff of humanity into an endless pool of insanity reserved for only those as broken as Tony Stark. 

Humanity wants a quick and painless death. Most people prefer to die in peace, surrounded by friends and family, happy, and content with the life they have lived. 

But Peter was better than all of them. He was so much more than a single miniscule drop in an ocean. So much more than a single stranger in a world full of people.

So much more than simply Spiderman.

The world might have needed Spiderman still, but Tony Stark needed Peter Parker.

Peter was better than humanity. He didn't get to choose a simple, painless death after a happy life. Peter died in space, without anyone except Tony holding on desperately to the last bits of his adopted son.

Peter was a hero. And that was more than Tony himself could ever be.

You're alright.

His last words to Peter and Tony couldn't even say anything meaningful. He didn't say anything that could tell Peter how much he needs him. How Peter means the world to Tony.

How Peter was the one who kept Tony from drowning all this time.

With Pepper's death, Tony quickly found himself spiraling into depression. After finally finding people in his life who he genuinely cared about, every single person was gone.

Tony promised Peter. Promise was a funny word. It meant so much, but at the same time was so damn easy to break. So damn easy to forget about. 

And Tony broke his promise to Peter. He failed in all aspects.

Because Tony promised that Peter and him would be together forever. He promised that Peter would be safe. He promised that Peter would be happy.

And now, Tony is alone. The remaining pieces of his heart do not even feel anything.

Tony is beginning to feel numb. It is quite often that people protect themselves after a significant trauma or tragedy in their lives. It is quite common that these people grow sad, perhaps even depressed.

But what happens when a person loses everything? What happens when a person's world crumbles around him, leaving only a singular person in a world full of people? 

It leaves someone broken. It leaves someone numb. It causes someone to give up.

Nobody, is ever mentally prepared for loss, although loss is a common thing among humans. 

Loss is to be expected after all. Everyone will die.

But it is when a person's life is suddenly cut off so uncruely by the world that perhaps hurts the most. It is when a person's life is cut off right in front of your eyes that hurts the most.

And it hurts the most when you can do nothing to save him from his end.

And Tony Stark could not do anything to save Peter Parker. He could not do anything to save any of his friends.

He's a failure. Not only a failure, but a broken man as well.

Come back I still need you.


	4. 4 | silence

New York City was usually an organized mess, acting as a hub for artists, business people, and virtually every single type of person. Although New York City changed fast and kept people on their toes, the one thing that never changed about New York City was the constant noise. 

Except now there was silence. Complete, utter silence. Silence is terrifying. Without the constant stream of noise outside, all Ned Leeds could hear was the noise inside his head. When all the distractions of the city were taken away, all Ned could do was come face to face with all his troubles. 

Because Peter, his best friend was missing. Because Ned was the one who played a part in Peter swinging off towards the heart of the fight. Because Peter was in the middle of space facing against some scary purple grape. 

But Ned knows that Peter is okay. Because Ned believes in Peter. Ned believes in Spiderman with all his heart. Ned believes in his best friend with all his heart, knowing that the Avengers would surely win just as they did every other time. Everything would be okay.

Most importantly, Peter could come back and they would finish building the Lego Death Star. Peter would come back tired, and maybe even bruised, but he would be back nonetheless. Peter and Ned would go back to school, they would be annoyed at Flash, they would go to college together.

They would live. 

And then there was the screaming. Contrary to the silence just seconds before, but significantly more terrifying.

It chilled Ned to the very bone. But he held on to the belief that everything was okay.

And then there was the dust. And still, Ned held on that Peter would be okay. If half the world was gone, surely Peter would come out on top anyways. Because Peter always comes out okay.

And Ned tries to convince himself that his best friend was okay, despite his hope dwindling.

And when the Avengers come back to New York looking broken beyond repair, Ned desperately searches for his best friend's mischievous eyes. 

Instead, he is met with Tony Stark's haunted eyes, clutching a bag of dust to his heart.

And Ned doesn't want to believe it. Ned can't believe it.

But Peter is nowhere to be seen, and Ned can only assume the worst.

Ned stumbles forward, before falling to the ground in pain.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Peter was supposed to be okay. Peter and Ned were supposed to be them against the world forever.

Somehow, it didn't happen like that. 

And Ned's heart clenches in pain when he realized that it was all his fault for helping his best friend join the fight. Because Ned blames himself for Peter being gone.

And when Ned goes home, he throws the Lego Death Star to the ground. He couldn't finish it now. Not without Peter.

He never got to say goodbye.


	5. 5 | failure

Space was ethereal. Space was beautiful. Space was mystical.

Space was terrifying. Space was lonely. Space was heartbreaking.

The aftermath of the destruction left Tony Stark clutching powdery dust in his hand.

Dust that used to be Peter Parker not so long ago.

It was odd how quickly one's life could disappear in a single snap. One snap and Peter was gone, thus taking Tony's heart along with him. So much time to spend building up a relationship, only for one slight of a finger for everything to come crashing down suddenly. 

Tony wasn't sure how long he had spent on the ground, praying, begging the gods for them to work their magic. For them to make everything right again.

For Peter to be back once more in Tony's arms. 

Peter trusted him. Peter trusted him with his entire life. Peter trusted Tony, trusted Iron Man to save him, to protect him, to never leave his side.

And Tony had to go and stomp all over that trust. Because like everything Tony has done in his life.

He failed.

And Tony doesn't deserve anything. He didn't deserve Pepper's love for him. He didn't deserve the Avengers trust, even after that whole Civil War conflict. 

Most definitely, he didn't and will never deserve Peter Parker.

Tony didn't deserve Peter looking up to him as some sort of role model. Tony didn't deserve Peter sending him memes at 2 in the morning. Tony didn't deserve Peter dragging him along to watch Star Wars at night. Tony didn't deserve Peter falling asleep on his lap, while Tony watched him breathe and look utterly at peace. Looking utterly safe. 

Because Tony Stark fails Peter like every other person he has done in his life. Because Peter never ever deserved so much heartbreak. Peter deserved the world. And instead, Peter was handed a bag in which his parents died, and his uncle died right in front of him.  

And Tony was supposed to be the person that made sure Peter could be happy again. He was the one that would be there for Peter no matter what. He was supposed to make sure Peter was sake, and live a healthy, happy life. 

He was supposed to watch Peter grow up, watch him go on his first date, graduate high school, graduate MIT, fall in love, and start a family.

Tony was supposed to be the father that Peter never really got to fully have. 

Tony should've have known better than to let himself get close to Peter. Because Tony knows all he does is cause hurt and death around him. 

Somebody else should've protected Peter. Somebody else should've have taken Tony's place, knowing that all Tony would do is drag Peter into more and more danger.

And god, Tony wishes that he tried harder to make sure Peter wasn't so stubborn and followed him into space. He wishes everything could've been different.

But he fucked up beyond belief, and to make up for his mistakes Peter was gone. 

A long time ago someone asked him if he had ever watched the people he loved die right in front of his eyes. 

"I bet you haven't ever felt heartbreak. You don't know what it's like to watch the people you love die. Do you even understand how it feels not being able to save them?"

Tony understands now. 


	6. 6 | breaking

It's been two years.

Two long, grief-filled years in which Tony Stark has barely held on to living. 

The other avengers have moved back into the tower, even the former criminals. Holding a grudge against them when half of the world is gone seems kind of pointless now.

Tony doesn't sleep much these days. When he closes his eyes all he can see is Peter's eyes before he was gone.

Despite being cloudy from pain, Tony breaks everyday when he remember the trust that lay beneath is eyes, clear as day. The trust that was so bright, so strong, so naive.

And Tony breaks knowing that he never deserved that trust from Peter.

Because Peter is dead. And despite Cap's best efforts at comfort in which he insists that he can still get all of them back from the soul stone, Tony's determination is slipping away.

Tony should have ended the moment Peter did.

Because without Peter Parker, Tony is cumbling away like dust in the wind, falling into oblivion.

• • •

3 years after Thano's snap killed half of the universe, the avengers finally manage to bring everyone back, along with the help of Captain Marvel.

And Tony can see himself slowly coming out of his emotional shell of which he has been enclosed in for the past three years.

When the avengers and guardians who had disappeared landed on the compound, Tony felt something that he hadn't felt for a long time.

Hope.

And he watches as people are reunited. But Peter is nowhere to be seen. Dr. Strange comes out last, and when he meets Tony's gaze, he silently shakes his head.

And Tony is breaking like paper again.

Because Peter came back but died from a fatal wound. He came back to Tony, but was lost again just like that.

Dimly, Tony can feel Pepper coming up to him, and while he is glad she is safe, all he can think about is Peter. 

He is glass. And so Tony drowns himself into alcohol and his work while Pepper and his team watch sadly, not knowing how to save the broken man who has had everything taken away from him time after time again.

• • •

Peter Ryan Stark was born in 2022. Pepper died while giving birth to him.

And although Peter grows up to be extremely intelligent and interested in technology, he barely has a relationship with his father.

The avengers all love him, treating Peter as one of their own kids, but it broke their heart to see Peter never truly having a father.

For Tony Stark promised himself that he wouldn't ever get close to another person, especially not a kid that was his own son.

And although Tony never wanted to be his father, Tony Stark ended up just like Howard Stark.

And Peter grows up to be a genius, surrounded by doting aunts and uncles. But they can't stay forever either. Despite their presence, nobody makes up for the absence of his father.

It's breaking everyone around him to see Tony down another bottle of alcohol while he hunches over parts in his lab. It's breaking everyone to see him so far removed from everyone who loves him.

And Tony dies alone. He dies clutching a tiny piece of fabric that a long time ago was a part of someone called Spiderman.

A tiny piece of fabric that had marked the day when Tony Stark first recruited the 15 year old boy to fight against Steve Rogers in an airport.

He dies never telling his son the truth about his namesake. He dies a broken man.

"I'm sorry Mr. Stark."

"I missed you."

"I love you."


	7. épilogue | the world continued on

• ten years after tony stark's death, thirty years after peter parker's death, thirty three years after infinity war •

The earth continued to turn everyday since the tragic events more than three decades ago. To the new generation of teenagers, the war was simply text in a boring textbook, ever so far out of reach and out of mind. To those just entering into the work force, starting families, the event was simply something they experienced as young children in a darker time of history, but a memory nonetheless.

And the teenagers during the war grew up. They went to college after life restarted, they got married, they had families, they continued to live a happy life full of contentment, although the era where half of the world was erased was still present in their mind. 

Tony Stark was merely a name on the internet. Merely a name talked about in classrooms to bored teenagers. Merely a tragic story of a billionaire, turned superhero, and later destroyed himself in the later years of his life. People called it a sad story of alcohol, drugs, and a genius who destroyed himself because of the pressure of  the public.

None of them knew the truth about Tony Stark's final days. None of them knew about the story of a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and the sixteen year old kid who broke through his walls. None of them knew about the father son relationship between the two. None of them knew that the relationship would ultimately cause the demise of Tony Stark.

Peter Stark, who had taken over Stark Industries after his father's death, continued to lead the company into the new age of technology in Tony Stark's name. After his father's death, Peter was told about his namesake, told about the young teenager who died trying to protect the world. He was told about how much Tony loved him, but couldn't bring himself to hurt another person. And so Peter Stark led the company in his father's name, while he wished that things might have been different. 

Ned Leeds, was now living a happy life with his wife and son who reminded him a little too much of Peter Parker. His wedding had lacked a best man, instead, the spot was reserved for Ned's best friend who had long been gone. 

His house held a shelf dedicated to the lego death star, which had been rebuilt sometime after in memory of Peter. And when a flash of red and blue crossed the window of their apartment in New York City, neither his wife or kid understood why Ned suddenly dropped his fork at the dinner table, freezing in the reminder of his childhood best friend.

The remnants of the original Avengers had dispersed after Thanos. Many had since died in combat, or old age, surrounded by those they loved. 

Tony Stark and Peter Parker never got the luxury of being surrounded by those they loved. 

And so, many years later, a weary Rhodey stood in front of the grave of Tony Stark and Peter Parker, looking off into the distance as the sun set over the horizon. Smiling softly, he laid the flowers at the head of the grave before returning back. He died in his sleep that night.

The world continued on. New generations of superheroes crossed the city streets. A new generation of superheroes worked together to keep the places of the world safe. 

The memory of Thanos, of the snap which decided the fate of so many people on that one day in 2018, was pushed back into history.

Michelle Jones, a girl who might have had a life with Peter Parker in a different world, died as the world entered a new century. 

And so the last living memory of Peter Parker, of Tony Stark, went along with her.

But the world continued on, not knowing of the two heroes who saved them from certain destruction.

"We're finally together. Nothing is ever taking you from me again."


End file.
